I hate being lied to. I hate it if I could sense the secrecy over something that it seems the behavior of that person has changed significantly to hide that secret. It makes the secret more obvious, and it makes me more mistrusting.
If only I could scream that men are unfair to think that watching / patronizing porn is not a short step towards cheating. The mere fact that they continuously deny its presence or the act of patronizing it is already a sign that its misleading their partner to believing that they are honest and good. Any form of disguise is still a disguise. Any form of disguise is a lie. And, any form of lie is a form of cheating.
I wonder if things happened in reverse? That their wives secretly watch porn and patronizes it over their own relationship? I wonder how betrayed they would feel that their partners gaze at naked bodies and seemingly enjoys it. Doesn't sound like one step away from orgy? or seeking pleasure outside the relationship? I wonder too if the mere fact of having their partners' naked bodies aren't sufficient anymore for their enjoyment.
I strongly believe that adversity towards patronization of porn is not an insecurity issue. Its about owning the relationship to its full degree. If they masturbate, why shouldn't they just think about their partners? Why the models and the porn stars? (or even those in scandal videos?) To some extent, it seems that if this happens a lot, maybe their actual sexual experience might no longer be because they see each other in its act?
Maybe if its explicitly raised by one partner that porn makes him/her feel bad, then that should be enough to stop patronizing it altogether. I think I should agree with the advise found in this resource: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Sexual-Health/Debate-is-watching-porn-cheating/show/434755
What do you think?