A collection of learnings, coding adventures and random thoughts about living life.

There was a girl.  She loves to sit in the corners of the room, and likes to write and stay alone.  She likes to dream of good sweet things, but she doesn’t believe they’re real.
Everything is dark and she is always lonely.  She has found her friends, but none ever stayed.  She’s gotten used to the old happy stories shared on long tables that are filled with good food and aged wine.  These stories die out just after the meals are over.  She’s a realist.  She will carry on the life of a normal girl, just because she had to.. as if there was any other choice.  She will laugh when needed, smile her best as required, but never stay happy for long.

There is a hopeless romantic waiting to be discovered by the perfect man.  She longs to be discovered, and she’d stay happy.  The moon is always beautiful, she thinks so.  It seems it has a strong bearing for her to see it rise every night just to give the sun a rest and say that its time for me to watch over you when you go to sleep.  She sighs at night and dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.. but the perfect man is nowhere.   And there, everyday, she toils away her sighs and aspirations of happiness.  It has become fleeting for her.  She’d write away her hurts in papers that are half soaked in tears.

She’d fall in love and give away her heart blindly.  That was what she wanted.. and did.  She threw away the hopes of the hopeless romantic and gave her heart to the first one who spoke of sweet things.  And she was happy.  She was happy until she got tired of trying to be happy.  Its a sad story of trust and honesty and love that fell apart.

And, once, when love was near she felt it, but didn’t know where it was.  She went blindly towards the first person who picked her up.  But she was wrong.  She gave her heart away again, only to be broken once more.  She knew this was not the perfect man she hoped for.  For she prayed to God when she was young, that she’d find that man.  That man she thought of, was actually never perfect.  She didn’t have a face to fancy upon for the perfect man, but she knew that he will be caring, compassionate, loving and all giving.  This man she dreamed about was one that would stay with her when she was mad, sick, worried, or happy.  This just wasn’t the man, she thought.

Leaving her fantasy, she armed herself better of the real world’s truths.  She wanted to be more cautious.  This time she’s believed less in love.  Feeling unimportant, she’d find that her passion for music, well being and work was what can get her through all these times.  She’s finally closed the door, but has left the window open.

She learned to do things independently and was happy.  Things were better that way, she thought.  Nothing would come harder than this, and so she knew she’d gotten past the big hill of pain and was out to get something better.  She promised herself real love.  One that she ought to find within herself first, and did.

The world has its way of giving you what you need, then find out later it was what you wanted.

Friends were hard to find when you’re in troubled times, but only those who really love you will stay no matter how ugly the scenario is.. no matter how hard the situation is.. no matter how cold you may be.. no matter how impossible things may seem.. and no matter if there is a competition or not.  At the times when the window seemed to be growing smaller each day, someone dared to knock and ask for a bargain.

She didn’t say anything nor did anything.  he was there, and it wasn’t her choice.  She only loved the friendship he had to offer and nothing more.  Each day was more confusion and stronger competition.  She was caught in between.  The days when corners of the room seemed to be peace, was calling out to her.  There had to be a way out.  And then, there was ceasefire.  All the noise of the competition was drowned, and everything seemed to be perfect.  Nobody was calling out to her for her sweet love.  Everyone must simply be themselves.  This was temporary peace for her.  She had to clear her mind and understand where her heart is, not her mind.

She loved the man who was there to listen to her and to think of her at all times, at all cost.  She loved the man who feared God, but was strong enough to go against cliche to stand up for his beliefs.  Yes, she loved the man who didn’t give up on her.  But what if he did?  And leave the opponent to his victory?  She cried tears of pain and confusion.  She was giving away her emotions.  She didn’t want him to go.  The match has almost ended.  It was a fight that was between men of the same values and the same desire.  It was a graceful but dangerous dance between men of the same valor.  She was the price.  She had to choose.  Then, the match soon ended.

She speaks of flowers in the field where it was once just the corner of her room.  She writes away her hurt on papers that are half soaked in tears, after which, he throws them away.  She still likes to dream of good sweet things, but now she believes they’re real.  She’s still romantic in her thoughts but now she thinks she’s no longer hopeless.  She prayed for the perfect man, and now she’s found him.  He was there, and it wasn’t her choice.  The world has its way of giving you what you need, then find out later it was what you wanted.

She was awakened by an SMS.  It was dark.  Maybe it was just another surreal day.  “Hello, good morning honey! Rise and shine na!  I can’t wait to see you later.  I love you.“  And then she smiles.  The perfect man is real.