I get tired

I wake up in the morning and I pray to Him, thanking Him for another day.. thanking Him that I am still inlove with this guy who loves me so much.  I also keep my mind healthy by thinking of good happy thoughts after a well deserved 10-15minutes of stretching.

So, in short, I start my day right.  I leave the house full from the quick breakfast that I take.  I take a tricycle towards the nearest drop off point then I walk to the office.  What more is there to describe a beautiful morning?  I pray that He will not give me a day that is so difficult that I'd like to quit on it.  I pray for a share of strength that He has to take on the worlds' prayers and griefs.

I rush into the job, fresh from last night's off regular job work.  I want to do something good.  I read my subscriptions to our daily news of Non-IT related stuffs then read some more IT articles, then work.  I work my heart out until I so often stop and smile because of some silly joke thrown at me or a quick sweet kiss on the cheek by my honey.  What more could I ask for?  No more.

But afternoons are heavy, I couldn't even take a break.  I feel like I am the last straw tying down knots to make everything work just fine.   Its so hard when you feel a sudden rush of emotion trying to eat you away and just make you get mad.. scream, yell, pull out your hair until they're gone.  I want to have a good peaceful day, but what is a day without challenge??

Then I go home tired.  I feel shameful for being a big rant-er in the office, but hey, I guess that's just my way of managing my anger.  I'd rather speak of it, talk about it, than keep it somewhere else and have it pile up until its very unmanageable.   I am only sorry that I cannot be less human than I am now.

I get tired.  Even up to this point, there are things that I need to do.. which I will be doing in awhile.  But hey, life is not life until you dip your hands into all sorts of stuffs and emotions.  Human cannot be divine, but I can at least try my best to become a better human.

I have to remind myself.  Today is only the fourth day of the new year.  I can go on… I now I will.

Maricris Nonato

I turn tech ideas into websites using Ruby. I'm a budding Buddhist practitioner, passionate about health & fitness, and a cat fanatic!