A collection of learnings, coding adventures and random thoughts about living life.

I am not mean.  I can never be mean.

I don't want to be sad if it can hurt you.  I don't want to hurt if it will hurt you.  I love everyone and even those who caused me pain, yes, I love them too.  I love everyone who spites me, they bring out the best in me.  I love those who hated me and wanted to be more than what I am, for deep inside them, they have idolized me.  I love those who do not look at me, for they do not judge me.. they cannot.  I love those who look at me, for they tell me what I am and what I am not.  But I do not love the hurt it brings to be mean to anyone at all.

I can be no more than sorry for wanting to live my own life.  I cannot understand why I should even bother to worry about how you feel or how I am making you feel.  I just want to be me, but what is this now?  I don't want to be any more clairvoyant than I am, for I can see through you and I know you're hurting.  I don't want to hurt you, but I also don't want to get hurt.

I can't help but watch the "A Rosy Life" telenovela.  The scenes are really something to look at.  It portrays the misery of a mother, a wife and a daughter.  She tried to be the hero for all, the superwoman for everybody.  Then she finds out her husband was philandering.  Her mother in law wants her to beg her husband to come back; her sister is not consoling her, and her father is not helping at all too!  Then she decides she wants to have her own life.  I can understand her.. she's done all and just be generous and kind, but now, she wants to have a life of her own to live and enjoy.  She'll do this.. love herself, yet not hurt somebody else in the process.

We both can never be mean.. ever.  That's just the way life is, I guess.  You can't have a rosy life without torns.