My eyes are shut dark by the blackout.. But I have been in touch more with my feelings.. Music sounds better when you really listen to it.. The silence on the first night of the blackout seemed to move me to retreat into my mushy self. I ended up thinking about my past decisions.. how I led my life and what I have accomplished so far. Somehow I felt like I deserved this rest. And I couldn't have wished for anything else but this blackout to happen.
I had more time to listen to myself. What I really wanted for in my life. I willowed some notes using my violin. The darkness did not allow me to check on the sheets for reference.. so I just relied on my instincts while I stoke the strings.. My mom said it sounded definitely better than when I had references ready! hahaha… I didn't know if I would take this as a compliment or not.. but I did to see it positively.
Somehow, closing my eyes and ears to negative thoughts did the trick for me.. I had to think of good things. Things that make me smile, things that make me feel better.
I heard my heart speak. I heard my thoughts too.. and I heard them loud and clear.