A collection of learnings, coding adventures and random thoughts about living life.

Have you ever seen Peter Pan? Do you know where he is? Do you really think you know who he is?

Sometime back when I used to watch Peter Pan (the movie by Robin Williams, who also happens to be one of my favorite actors), I have always thought that these things could never be associated with real life. Yes, only a surreal idea. No man can ever think of not thinking about anything else but being a boy. But, I do believe I'm willing to accept the mistake of believing in such things.

Peter Pan is alive.

I met Peter Pan–the Peter Pan of my life.

When I met him, I had so much fun. All I ever thought was having fun, about enjoying my lost childhood–by just being the child I am. I was happy, very very happy. I just knew I was never happier. Yes, these were my exact words to him. I was carefree. I was me. For the longest time, I've never enjoyed my childhood, I've never been more happy to just be the child I really am with him.

I have lost this joyous feeling of being a child again because of too much responsibility. I always had to be strong for the ones I love, be quick and decisive for the people who count on me. That was how I lost my childhood. No more than a busy young woman was I, having lost the child in me. All I ever thought were the people around me needed me. And I have never thought I would really need somebody to bring me back my childhood; and that if it happened, it would be priceless.

I guess, as a woman, I have needed a man. But, the young girl, needed a young boy. How could I ever be understood when I do not really know what I want or what I need?

Now, I am left with the feeling that I have been into NeverLand, but have returned to the busy life of reality, leaving behind my Peter Pan in his world. I speak today as a woman who chose to grow up but not to grow old. For, I too am a Wendy in that NeverLand. I love being a woman but not miss being the young Wendy of NeverLand.

Sometimes its disheartening to see that Peter Pan also fell in love with Wendy. Its a guilty feeling that Wendy robbed a young boy of his childhood, and his choice of not wanting to grow up. Peter Pan was happy to make Wendy happy, but he never wanted Wendy to learn how to fly just like the way he did–because this will mean Wendy could now go home.

Wendy fell in love with Peter Pan just as he did fell in love with Wendy. But to love Peter Pan in NeverLand may be the right love at the wrong place and at the wrong time. Yes, more wrong than right.

As much as I would want to stay with you in NeverLand, Peter Pan, I just couldn't. I had to leave you. But, rest assured, I will never forget you. I may grow up, but will never grow old. And those memories will always be as fresh as yesterday's memories. Thank you for showing me what it meant to be happy amidst all troubles, and just be the child I have always wanted to be (even for a short while). Maybe some other time, we'll meet here in my world and fall in love again.

Maybe sometime.. when I tire of looking outside my window and waiting for Peter Pan to come visit me, only then can I give you the chance to knock at my door and come no longer as Peter Pan. Maybe.. sometime..