Yesterday, I was kinda feeling tired. All I ever thought the whole day was to sleep.
Finally, when morning came, I was glad again that I can hear Mass. I needed it. I was feeling down and sullen already. While we were walking, my sister accidentally stepped on my right foot. I said to myself, she would never say sorry. And of course, I was right. This sister of mine was never the emphatic one. She would feel for others, but never show it. She would be overflowing with joy but never express it. She's more shy to let you know that she loves you. But it didn't matter to me. I practically know her and what goes on in her head. Maybe this is the reason why people at home always want to talk to me instead of some confidante. I can just listen and make you feel that I know how you feel.
Oh well, at the church, I suddenly felt my toe hurting. It was already bruised and a portion of the skin was cut. Ah, but never mind.
For today's gospel, the visitation took place. Mary visited Elizabeth to hear the good news of her pregnancy. Father Jovi (not sure of the spelling of his name) focused on the lesson of sharing joys. He actually made a good joke out of it.. got me laughing first thing in the morning! He said that, if you receive a good news, you must share it; otherwise, you would look crazy if you would laugh and/or smile by yourself while murmuring something. Smiling was also a way of spreading your joy.
Never keep joy to yourself. Always be a light to others. He asks, 'Do you influence other people to be happy? How do people react to you when you arrive?' Proudly, I thought of the people at home. They rarely talk if only by themselves, but whenever I arrive, the house is suddenly full of different voices all laughing and cheerfully telling stories about their day. I guess it will always be like that. Even if I go home looking tired and sleepy, I would still take the time to listen to their stories, laugh at them and throw some of my good old funny stories that would just send them laughing their hearts out. Do i spread the light? Well, I guess so. This actually made me happy.
I thought, even if at the saddest moment of my life, I never cry because I do not want to see them crying too. I don't do this because I'm a coward to show my soft side. I also cry.. and when I do, I don't hide it. I just want them always to be happy with me and not think of me as someone who would always go about blurting my own problems and difficulties.
I am happy though mentally tired and emotionally damp at times. Knowing that there are more of my friends that are happy around me, it appeases me.
When i got back from hearing Mass, my mom asked me if I would get ready for work. She asked me, 'Di ka pa ba pagod?' I thought, 'Funny she had to ask.. Of course I'm...' She had to cut my thoughts and say, 'Tulog ka muna.. Pa late ka nalang or half day kung di mo pa kaya' I knew I had to take her advice. And so I slept for a couple of hours and just took a cab to the office an hour late.
I learned that all actions are never wasted. And so, it is better if you bank on good actions so that you will receive more than what you have given. Just the simple thought of care have already removed my physical tiredness and emotional burdens.
Hang on, we are going to make it to Christmas time! Keep a happy thought!